Ghost of a Chance
by SeraphStar
Summary: Jesse's POV. Set just before the festival in Haunted and continues to just after the end of the book. oneshot. FINISHED


Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, they belong to Meg Cabot/Jenny Carroll. Don't own the song, it belongs to Mr. Dan Hill.

**A/N: **It's just a bit of mindless fluff while I think of an actual plot for a new story. It's in Jesse's POV. Also begins somewhere in Haunted before the festival at the end and after the whole fiasco with Paul.

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**Ghost of a Chance**

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A long time ago, when I first met Susannah, I told myself I wouldn't fall in love with her. Even though she was beautiful and fiery and wonderful, I promised myself I would not fall in love with her. It would complicate her life beyond measure and make my existence hell. A relationship between the two of us would not be possible, therefore we should not ever get involved in one.

Keeping that oath has been extremely difficult on my part since the moment I made the resolution. I keep on having to make up excuses as to why I am always around her. I know she will not accept the fact that I have nothing else to do than admire her. I can't even admit to myself that I haven't got a ghost of a chance with Susannah.

I have come to ask myself every night, how can you be around a girl like Susannah and NOT fall in love with her? Her personality is magnetic, she just draws you to her. I can't keep myself away from her sometimes. I think she's begun to notice that I come into her room every night to sit at her window seat and watch her.

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_You ask me if I love you  
And I choke on my reply  
I'd rather hurt you honestly  
Than mislead you with a lie  
And who am I to judge you  
On what you say or do?  
I'm only just beginning to see the real you_

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My little hellcat is only coming into her own. She can't have me tying her down. What will she do with the rest of her life? I wish Susannah and I could be together, I wish it more than anything I've ever wished for in my entire existence. But she deserves better than me. She needs someone real, as much as I hate to admit it. That damn Slater is right, she needs someone her friends and family can see and accept.

Not that it matters if they accept me or not, I could care less. But I would like Susannah to be open with her family, she hides her ability from them thinking they will find her mad. She is amazing, how anyone could classify her as mad is beyond me. She may be a bit...different, but that is what makes her so special to me.

I want more than anything to be for her what she is for me. She is my world, I thought I was going to wither away here in the land of the living until the end of eternity. And now, now I find every day wonderful and exciting, even though I am dead, because she is in it. I do find some of her...talents a bit foreign, like how she will 'sock' any male who gets too close to her (I still do not understand what she means when she says she will hit them with a sock) or how she constantly gets herself into trouble (even though being able to show up and play hero is quite fun to do); but that is what makes Susannah...well, Susannah.

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_And sometimes when we touch  
The honesty's too much  
And I have to close my eyes and hide  
I wanna hold you till I die  
Till we both break down and cry  
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides_

Susannah walked into the room while I was still lost in thought, she found it amusing to wave her hand in front of my face and ask, "What are you doing here? Hello? Yoohoo? Earth to Jesse, come in Jesse. Are you there?"

I snapped out of my reverie and looked up from the window seat, "Good afternoon Susannah, how was your day?"

She sighed heavily, "What are you doing here? I thought you moved to the rectory."

I blinked. Moved to the rectory. Away from Susannah. Right. "I...merely wanted to come and visit you Susannah," I replied.

Susannah looked at me quizzically. "You. Wanted to visit?" she asked. I could almost see a smile on her face, as if she was glad to see me too? No, just my imagination.

I nodded mutely, content to be in her presence.

She nodded back, apparently satisfied with my answer. "I'm going to shower, I'll see you later," she called over her shoulder, turning around.

"I will see you later querida," I assured her retreating figure with a smile.

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_Romance and all its strategy  
Leaves me battling with my pride  
But through the insecurity  
Some tenderness survives  
I'm just another writer  
Still trapped within my truth  
A hesitant prize fighter  
Still trapped within my youth_

A few nights later, I went down to the graveyard at the school. At the end of a long path is a headstone, mine. It is very new, not something you'd expect of a ghost who died a hundred fifty years ago, but there is Susannah for you.

Looking over the words, I felt a sad sort of longing. Not that it was strange to me, but it was nearly overwhelming. Hearing footsteps, I looked up. Lo and behold, Susannah stood in front of me.

I could not speak to her, I knew my voice would betray me. I merely held my hand out to her over the grave. I felt the warmth from her hand flow into me as she laced her fingers with mine.

Finally, I spoke. "I'm sorry," I whispered, "for everything." She could not know the half of what "everything" meant though. For not showing her that I cared, for caring too much in the first place, everything.

"I understand, I guess," she shrugged, even though I could tell she did not, she was just trying to make me feel better. "I mean, you can't help it of you...well, don't feel the same way about me as I do about you."

My eyes widened. What was she talking about? Did I even dare to hope? No, that would be too much to ask for. Just meeting her, that was enough, nothing I have ever done would qualify me for what I wish it was she was telling me.

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_And sometimes when we touch  
The honesty's too much  
And I have to close my eyes and hide  
I wanna hold you till I die  
Till we both break down and cry  
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides_

My voice was shaky as I answered her, frustrated and confused. "Is that what you think? That I wanted to leave?" I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, then opened them slowly as if it were all a bad dream. As if everything was suddenly the way it should have been. No such luck, Susannah stood in front of me, staring at me strangely. She almost looked...surprised.

"Didn't you?" she looked at me incredulously. She hadn't known? She never figured it out? She never knew? I dared not hope, to loose her that way would kill me a second time.

"How could I stay?" I held her gaze firmly. Did she know what she could do to me? "After what happened between us, Susannah, how could I stay?" She really had no idea. The sweet naivety was misplaced in the seriousness of the moment. Or maybe it was all right, seeing as how, if things turned out the way I wanted, this would be like one of the "romance novels" Susannah says her friend CeeCee reads.

"What happened between us? What do you mean?" Susannah asked me.

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_At times I'd like to break you  
And drive you to your knees  
At times I'd like to break through  
And hold you endlessly_

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I looked at her sorrowfully. "That kiss," I let go her hand suddenly and felt like I had to run away.

I looked at Susannah again. She watched me, like she was waiting for something, something magical. Imagine her surprise when I told her that the reason I couldn't stay with her was that I loved her. I couldn't...

Running a hand through my hair, I faced her again. I felt childish in front of her, she tried so hard to be too mature; like I tried to be too mature. If I were alive I'd never think twice about voicing my feelings for her. But...I couldn't. I...

"How could I stay?" I asked her. How? Knowing she was there, knowing what it felt like to have her soft lips against mine. I couldn't! She'd...I'd...I couldn't! "Father Dominic was right. You need to be with someone your family and your friends can actually see. You need to be with someone who can grow old with you. You need to be with someone alive," I knew if I didn't get out of there soon I'd do something worthy of chastisement. Chastisement from Susannah is no pretty picture, even without socks.

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_At times I understand you  
And I know how hard you've tried  
I've watched while love commands you  
And I've watched love pass you by  
At times I think we're drifters  
Still searching for a friend  
A brother or a sister  
But then the passion flares again_

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A small smile began forming at the corners of Susannah's mouth. "Jesse," she said softly, now I knew she was smiling. Was she laughing at me? "I don't care about any of that. That kiss..." What? What didn't she care about? She didn't care about what I just said? About what I wanted for her? Or...she didn't care about the kiss? Confused, I listened intently.

Susannah looked at me meaningfully. "That kiss was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Time slowed down, time stopped altogether. My mind went blank. Susannah just spoke to me. She was talking about the kiss we shared, the best moment I've ever experienced. Wait, wait, she was talking about the kiss. Focus, Jesse, focus. She...liked it? The best thing that ever happened to her. That kiss was the best thing that ever happened to her. She liked the kiss.

It finally clicked in my mind, Susannah enjoyed the kiss we shared all those weeks ago.

Grinning, I pulled Susannah into my arms. She looked surprised, as if she was unsure of what was going to happen next. She smiled confusedly at me anyway.

Without hesitation this time, I kissed her again. It was everything like the last one, but more. The same wonderful sensations, but better. Everything I'd ever wanted, and then some. I could feel Susannah smile against my lips. She was happy. I could have jumped for joy.

Unlike the last time, I held Susannah in my arms for a good few minutes before I remembered she needed to breathe.

When I pulled back, I saw the shock in her eyes. It was a kind of excited shock, as if she knew what happened and didn't quite realize it yet. Then, her eyes lit up and she grinned at me.

She pulled my head down into another kiss and whispered against my lips, "I love you Jesse de Silva."

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_And sometimes when we touch  
The honesty's too much  
And I have to close my eyes and hide  
I wanna hold you till I die  
Till we both break down and cry  
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides_

**FIN.**

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Thanks for reading, guys.

Love, SeraphStar


End file.
